Are you for whales in captivity? If not, I wrote this story to change your mind. I did this story with no help at all. I think it turned out good but next time I will try to put more facts in it. Hope You Enjoy!!!!
Neil, well done on a clearly structured and controlled argument (not story) against whales in captivity. Your position is clear, your punctuation consistent and you have emotive language. You did not cite your sources. Please refer to the success criteria before you post next time. Your paragraph about poor medical care could have been two separate main reasons. The other being the lack of natural diet and habitat leading to early death. Lastly, I think the phrase you were after was 'In opposition to this ...' Again, overall I am impressed with your Independence and language choice.
Neil, well done on a clearly structured and controlled argument (not story) against whales in captivity. Your position is clear, your punctuation consistent and you have emotive language. You did not cite your sources. Please refer to the success criteria before you post next time. Your paragraph about poor medical care could have been two separate main reasons. The other being the lack of natural diet and habitat leading to early death. Lastly, I think the phrase you were after was 'In opposition to this ...' Again, overall I am impressed with your Independence and language choice.
ReplyDeleteThank you whaea Lana. I will try to use that feedback in another persuasive argument.
DeleteGOD BLESS YOU!!